What’s the difference between a pessimist and an optimist? The pessimist says, “Things are so bad they can’t possibly get any worse.” The optimist says, “Yes, they can! Yes, they can!”
When we talk about optimism in education, we need to define what optimism is and what it is not. It is not an exercise in focusing on unrealistic or unhelpful positivity in the face of a difficult situation. Minimally, doing this makes us foolish. Apart from foolishness, this approach can be callous, much like the shiva visitor who throws out an optimistic platitude that usually starts with the words, “At least you can be grateful that,” or “It’s a good thing that,” or “You’re lucky that.” Hashem certainly lines our great difficulties in life with small kindnesses that are His kisses, those are for us to appreciate. Not for some well-meaning comforter to hold up as a stop sign to our grief.
Worse yet, optimism can be damaging and dangerous. Focusing on the bright side might be a display of denial rather than emunah. When a situation is at a crisis point, too much optimism is dangerous. Appropriate optimism distinguishes the integral from the circumstantial and the permanent from the shifting.
The pessimist sees the dire situation and doesn’t see the possibilities of things shifting towards improvement. In his view, things aren’t just bad; they are over. He doesn’t view the current behavior of the child acting out as the issue. He sees the child as the issue. As parents and educators, we are also strategists, interior designers, and engineers. Our long-term vision of belief in the child coupled with our understanding that things shift and move in life give way to our seeing the potential and imagining the next better step for the child.
Children can get so stuck in the now. “If I have no friends today, I’ll never have friends. If I failed my test today, I’m never going to pass.” When we get stuck in the rut with them, we stop being helpful.
We have to add the word “yet” to our perspective and to our children’s lexicon. “You don’t have friends, yet.” But I, the optimistic adult in your life, recognize that this painful situation is often circumstantial and almost always shifting. I am not overwhelmed by the now, because I know that” nows” change. And with my hope in you and hope in life, I’m going to help guide you through the pain of the now towards the blessing of the next.
